WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize