i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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