The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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