i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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