I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
