Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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