Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
