I can't breathe out the right side of my face
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
