as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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