I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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