She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just want to make out with him forever
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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