If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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