There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
