The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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