Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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