Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
