I am spending my child support on dildos
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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