just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
