it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
