lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
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Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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