Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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