I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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