There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
