Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
