Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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