Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize