people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
