Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
