just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize