Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
