I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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