is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
