Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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