At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize