Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
