If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
