Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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