why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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