Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
