I'm really into asian looking animals
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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