I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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