Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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