my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
