you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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