He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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