I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
