i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
