i need an iv and a liver transplant
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
