I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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