So drunk its hurt
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
