he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
