im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
