And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I love you. Go after that dick
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
