sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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