Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
