Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
and she was petting her beer can
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.