i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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