dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
