I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
