Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
